A wife has a very powerful position in a family. As Maria says in ‘My Big Fat Greek Wedding’, “The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants”.
Stereotypically the wife is the Nurturer – the caring sensitive parent, wanting the best for her husband and children and sacrificing on a daily basis to make it all happen.
But of course, no two couples are the same. What if in your family, the wife – the female one – has the drive in most areas: financially, career mindedness, academically, spiritually, socially? How do you amplify your husband’s impact in the family when you seem to be the one who has to make all the decisions? How do you encourage his influence without demeaning him and diminishing his importance in the family?
All couples, and therefore all families, are different. A family is made up of two very different individuals. Not only are they poles apart sexually (i.e. one is male, the other is female – with huge differences physiologically and hormonally) but each has different gifts and talents as well as different upbringing, issues and problems.
Combined, a couple produce the possibility of a myriad of different personalities in their offspring, making every family on the earth a totally unique unit.
There are key principles that wives can discover, think about and apply to their families to promote the influence of Dad in the life of their family.
Tips for Wives
- Recognise that every family is unique. Your family is different to any other because you and your husband are two totally unique people married to each other.
- Recognise that God therefore has a unique blueprint or plan for your family which is unlike any other plan He has for any other family.
- Recognise and note what you appreciate about your husband. What is he good at? What does he excel at? What do YOU love about him? Why DID you marry him?
- Recognise and promote these assets. Talk up his good points to him, to your children, to your parents, even to your friends.
It’s time to stop comparing your husband to everyone else’s. You will find that as you amplify his impact in your home, you will automatically promote the influence of Dads in other families too. Just try it, you might be surprised at the outcomes.
This is what the Bible means when it says, “This is a profound mystery – however, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband”. There are two keys: ‘Love’ and ‘Respect’.
Warwick and Alison Marsh established the Dads4Kids Fatherhood Foundation, a harm prevention charity in 2002 to encourage Dads to the best they can be for the sake of their children. The Dads4Kids ‘Good to Great Fathering’ course is being rolled out nationally. Warwick is well known in Australia for his advocacy for marriage, family, fatherhood and faith.