What most often brings couples undone, is not one massive act of betrayal, but the myriad of daily pinpricks of hurt.

Criticism, put downs, rudeness, small selfish acts, being taken for granted, independent decisions… it’s these little things that gradually erode the sense of connection and security in a marriage. Most couples brush these things aside, thinking they’re too small to make a big deal of. Yet, like pebbles in a jar, eventually the jar fills, and our resentment bubbles over into a major, sometimes devastating, fight.

One of the most valuable practices a spouse can take on is a regular ‘audit’ of their relationship. This needn’t be a protracted process, just a few minutes reflecting on how you may have failed to love your spouse that day, and a prayer to be strengthened in your resolve to do better at love tomorrow.

It’s also important to guard our own hearts from the accumulated wounds of those daily bumps and bruises. So a second reflection on how you may have been wounded by your spouse and a prayer to forgive is equally needed.

Authors: Byron & Francine Pirola

This article was featured in the February 2012 edition of the CathFamily e-Magazine.

More from this edition:

• Restorative Practices @ Home
• Family Unity