by Byron & Francine Pirola
By its very nature Matrimony has the power to renew the Church and all of society. Matrimony is the vocational sacrament within which the vast majority of adult Catholics live, and yet its capacity for teaching, renewing and leading the Church is largely overlooked.
All Sacraments reveal a dimension of God and our relationship with him. Matrimony witnesses, in a concrete way, to the passionate, intimate love of Jesus for his bride, the Church.
St Paul, in his letter to the Ephesians (5:21-33) spells this out very clearly. After describing how husbands are to love their wives in imitation of Christ, and wives are to regard their husbands as they regard the Lord, he adds,
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”. This is a great mystery, and I am applying it to Christ and His Church.’ (Eph 5:31-32).
St John Paul II in his Theology of the Body also held as crucial this passage of St Paul’s on marriage, noting that the Sacrament of Matrimony had a ‘bidirectional’ nature.
“As one can see, this [spousal] analogy works in two directions. While it allows us, on the one hand, to understand better the relationship of Christ with the Church, it permits us, on the other hand, to penetrate more deeply into the essence of marriage to which Christians are called.” (John Paul II, TOB 90:4)
In other words, not only can couples look to the example of Christ to learn how to love each other well, they as a couple can teach the Church about how Christ loves the Church, and how we as his bride, are to respond to him.
Thus married couples are called to teach the Church about the nature of Christ’s love; through the example of their relationship all married couples are called to be leaders, offering inspiration and prophetic witness in their parish and wider communities.
Couples teach the Church that God’s love is as intimate as it is benevolent, and that his Kingdom is more relational, like a family, than legalistic.
Like a passionately ‘in love’ couple, Jesus’ love for us is urgent, personal and intimate. He longs to be close to us, to be one with us, to be in communion. It is also permanent and, like the covenant between God and his people, is irrevocable.
The ‘one flesh’ union of husband and wife is not just a physical joining of their bodies for brief and occasional moments. Nor is it their compensation for having to endure the difficulties of marriage and family life! No, their sexual union is a sacred gesture and is instrumental in what St John Paul II called ‘a communion of persons’ – the interpersonal communion of body and soul between two persons in a mutual self-gift.
Married love is indeed a powerful witness and teacher. It images and makes real the profound mysteries of our faith and is thus worthy of contemplation and reverence.
The passionate married couple thus illuminates and images the Eucharistic communion – Jesus gives his body and sheds his blood in a total outpouring of love for his bride, the Church.
When a couple make love, they too give their bodies and shed their blood (ie. lay down their life in service) to each other in the image of Christ. And just as husband and wife become ‘one flesh’ in sexual communion, so also do we, the bride of Christ, become one flesh with Jesus in Eucharistic communion.
Sexual communion is a sacred rite; a deeply holy and sacramental act for the married couple. It is no accident that sexual union is considered essential to the establishment of the Sacrament of Matrimony when the couple marries:
“In fact, the words themselves, ‘I take you as my wife/as my husband’ do not only refer to a determinate reality, but they can only be fulfilled by the copula conjugale (conjugal intercourse).” (John Paul II, TOB 103:2)
Byron Pirola is husband to Francine and father of five. Byron is a Management Consultant by day and by night, the co-director the Marriage Resource Centre with Francine and coauthors of the SmartLoving series.
Francine Pirola is the founder of CathFamily and regular contributor and editor. She has been married to Byron for over 25 years and has five children. She is also the author of the My School Diary Series that is used by over 100,000 catholic school students and teachers around Australia every year.